Dating Mistress, Jerusalem

One NY/Jerusalem Jewish woman's journey after she discovered her husband's blog "documenting sexual tension within his marriage." HOO BOY, THE DRAMA IS JUST BEGINNING...

My Photo
Location:Jerusalem, Israel

I live in Jerusalem, am American, modern orthodox and love this wonderful exciting city... or did until I saw the seedy underbelly which lies just beyond the tasteful confines of our plywood-panelled computer/rec room

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

It's over, darling.

Not that it hasn’t been fun. For others, anyhow.

The fat lady has sung.
For six minutes and 59 seconds. I’ve decided not to waste another second on you. Why should I? You called me fat. Tsk, tsk.

When you get home today, from your fulfilling job of pushing the little mail-cart at the ambulance-chasery where you pretend to practice law, prepare to see some changes.

  • I’m taking the computer, so don't bother blogging about me.
  • I’m taking the egg timer, so you’ll have to guess at the length of your subsequent sexual encounters. I have two words to get you started:
-- Miss-iss-ipp-i.
-- One-Thou-sand.
(granted, that’s three words. But why hold me to getting the details exactly right? You never did.)

  • I’m taking the fruit baskets.
  • I’m taking the subscription to Cat-Fancy, if only to see if the pages really do “get sticky on their own” over time. And Mr. Whiskers, who’s been looking pretty traumatized lately, to be honest.
(pause for shuddering)

  • Oh, and I’m taking the money. I mean, duh.

- You can keep the Amazing Rubber Papaya. Kol HaKavod.

There’s a bottle of Manischewitz and some unfilled hamentaschen in the fridge. Go at it, tiger.

Chag Sameach!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO - at least he's still got two hands.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 1:56:00 PM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Parody or fact; fiction or reality, this has been a very entertaining blog for its limited time in blogsville.

It seems as if you have given us all more than 7 minutes of laughter.

Chag Samach.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 7:41:00 PM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

at least confirm you are Jackshack

Thursday, March 16, 2006 12:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it's Jack Shack, he's been posting at crazy hours.

Thursday, March 16, 2006 8:24:00 AM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

Ill make you a deal
send me all the passwords keep this going and I will post a photo of my wifes breasts
you cant lose in this situation so come to
and spill the beans and u will see BOOBS

Sunday, March 19, 2006 6:33:00 AM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

come over and leave a final message

Sunday, March 19, 2006 8:27:00 AM  
Blogger ZaQ said...

If those really are your breasts, they are nice. I would spend more than 7 minutes just on them.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 9:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is such bullshit. quit trying to say its jacks shack when the style of writing is ALL you. i picture you a man in your 30s not married probably never married, fat hanging over your pants, wearing no belt, a pair of house slippers, balding, and alone in front of your computer in new york. i pity you and so do so many other people who come to these blogs. but since im just 18 and not addicted to th internet and sick fantasies that only you yourself believe anyways, im going to keep leaving you these comments. even though thats what you like. even when you dont realize everyone is only making fun of you and thinking what a sick mind you are, you enjoy that.

Saturday, March 25, 2006 8:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol, he probably still lives with his parents

Monday, March 27, 2006 10:55:00 AM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

just to tell you I am in total meltdown because of this site
I am now posting photos of naked women to teach you all a lesson

Thursday, March 30, 2006 5:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And this is teaching us what? That your an absolute idiot?

Thursday, March 30, 2006 7:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I caught your husband's blog through a Yahoo group where he went off on you and his four month allowance; the first thing I said (and happily, I'm not alone here) was "Oh, that poor woman." This, coming from a divorced FFB guy.

Obviously, the man has SERIOUS issues; the most myopic fool can spot 'em a mile away, farther away if the air is clear. Outside of serious therapy, the best you can hope for is that he doesn't get any worse - though it's quite apparent that he's quite bad enough right now to hightail it out of there, kids and all. If you do want to make a go of it, he's going to have to change his entire perspective, but with his altered view of reality, I doubt that he can face the fact that he's so screwed up.

The first thing I ask whenever a guy says his girl is frigid is - how are you treating her? are you doing it for her in bed? The answers - invariably - are poorly and hell no, respectively.

The real question is whether his structure is unsound or if he's a fixer-upper; if he's fixable, get to intensive counseling immediately, and if not, ditch him NOW. Waiting just makes it worse for everyone involved, especially the kids. I have a distinct feeling that he's beyond repair, but if you feel differently, than go for it.


Wednesday, April 05, 2006 4:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Jim C said...


Best. Parody. Evah.

DM you are slime, and whoever wrote this is a genius!

Friday, April 07, 2006 2:42:00 PM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

this si no game-now I've posted your picture for everyone to see on my site so there you Mrs D fucking M

Sunday, April 09, 2006 5:05:00 AM  
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I think DM and his wife are all the same person.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

be well and find alover coz I am done

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Witness the evolution of the revolution. First it played songs. Then photos. Then podcasts. Now iPod plays video, changing the way you experience your music and more. Again. In lighter, thinner 30GB and 60GB models starting at 9, the new iPod is music to your eyes.
Better Yet
Time for the world's best music player to take the stage for another encore. In 30GB and 60GB models that hold up to 15,000 songs, full-color album art and up to 25,000 photos, the new iPod makes the most of your music and more. Yeah, you've heard that tune before. Only now, you can watch it, too. With support for up to 150 hours of video and a 2.5-inch color display, the new iPod lets you take music videos and TV shows on the road.
More and Less
The new iPod boasts up to 20 hours of battery life, five hours more than before. Plus, you get a bigger display and one more iPod color - sleek black. But here's the kicker: At under half an inch thin, the new 30GB iPod takes up about 45 percent less room than the original iPod. Even the new 60GB model is 10 percent thinner than the fourth-generation 20GB iPod. More features in less space Sounds like iPod.
Hold Everything
Now you can put all your music in your pocket and still have room for, well, practically everything else. Catch up on your reading with audiobooks. Browse your memories with photo slideshows, complete with music. Watch video podcasts, music videos and your favorite TV shows. Consult your calendar or look up an email address. Even check the time in another city or time your fastest lap. The new iPod keeps it all close at hand.
Spin Some Tunes
The Apple Click Wheel gives you access to your entire music, photo and video library ? from one thumb. Control volume and browse using the touch-sensitive surface. Play. Pause. Rewind and fast-forward. Rate your favorites. Create playlists on the go. Launch photo slideshows. The Click Wheel puts everything at your fingertips, so you can keep your eyes and ears on the music.
Sync, Look and Listen
Playing your iPod is only half the fun. Try filling it with downloads from the iTunes Music Store. Choose from over 2 million songs, 25,000 podcasts, 2,000 music videos or your favorite ABC and Disney television shows, download them to your Mac or PC and sync them to your iPod. Add an optional audio cable to play music from the iPod to your home stereo or use an optional S-video cable with iPod to play VJ on your TV. You can perform the same big-screen feat with iPod photo slideshows. Oh, and you can do it all from across the room using the optional Universal Dock and handy new Apple remote.

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